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Metal Monday: Pope Francis is Releasing a Prog-Rock Album, and That's Pretty Metal.

- Matthew "Sprinkles" Atwell

October 12, 2015

Okay, so this photo of Pope Francis as a young priest is photoshopped, but hear me out.  Pope Francis embodies all the characteristics of a metal-head because, contrary to popular belief, metal-heads are very accepting and caring people, and if there’s anything we know about this pope it’s that he’s the most accepting and progressive pope in recent history.  The pope has accepted everyone into the church: homosexuals, the divorced, those who have had abortions, and homemade pizzas.  (Seriously, pizzas! Granted, they probably threw it out but still pretty awesome) Besides being the coolest pope to have ever lived, Pope Francis even seems to have an extremely great taste in music.  Pope Francis, and I swear this a hundred percent real, has actually recorded and is set to release a progressive rock album.  If you aren’t convinced yet, then sit back, unwind, and praise the Lord because you’re in for treat. Besides blessing metal CD’s, like the above non-doctored photo, the pope has found very unique ways to spread his message.  The pope is set to release a Prog-Rock album in November entitled, Wake Up!  The album is a combination of his speeches, sermons, and prayers mixed in with some distorted guitars, bass, synthesizers, drum-kit, and horns.  The first single, “Wake Up! Go! Go! Forward!” is already available on Soundcloud.  I’m not saying his album is going to be amazing and that everyone should check it out, but you have to give the man some credit.  You wouldn’t expect this from him, considering he’s the top dog of the Roman Catholic Church. At the very least, the album will make you think and take an interest in something.  Think about it - hasn’t metal always been about making people talk about and think about the stuff they are listening to?  Classic metal bands and metal innovators have always made people question things, even if they are controversial.  Metal bands like Slayer and Venom immediately come to mind - their use of satanic imagery has always made parents and fans alike to question and speak the nature and intensions of these bands.  By using these images, they have gotten people to take an interest into these darker things and even research them a bit, as not to immediately classify them as satanic like they usually are.  The pope’s album isn’t controversial, but, just like metal, it’ll get you talking.  It’ll make you think a little bit about your faith in something spiritual, or even just about how captivating the man is.  Metal, like his album, is all about getting people to talk and getting them to think about what they’ve just heard or seen, and that’s exactly what he’s done. - Matthew "Sprinkles" Atwell

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